Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Walk of Shame (or why I love my sister)

I don't care what craziness you got into in college--and I know, most of you were much more interesting in your early twenties than I was--but I'm telling you, you have never done a walk of shame until you have to purchase this:

From the pharmacist that you worked with for 6 years. Whee. THAT was a fun conversation.

Let me tell you kids, these little guys are a FUN RIDE. However, I may have been a monkey in a previous life, because I am really, supernaturally good at getting them out (might have something to do with the OCD--i'm just saying).

The best part of this story, and the part that I will remember long after my kids have totally forgotten about this whole thing; is how great nina was--she walked into my house for dinner (all prepared BEFORE the delousing, but to be honest, I'm not sure if that is good or bad). She saw the box, her eyes got so wide--and I said two words, "please help".

She grabbed a comb and starting telling me and gia that "oh I do this all the time-what with working at a school and all, and ha-there is BARELY anything there! You almost don't need to bother. Oh--of course YOUR kids got them, they actually need clean hair--it's because your kids are so clean.." all while she was combing eggs out of my daughter's hair.

Here they are...pest-free...if you don't count the boy as a pest, which Gia does.
She diffused the situation in less than 5 minutes and showed me yet another unique skill she has (besides being rock-paper-scissors champion of the Northeast-I kid you NOT).

i love my sister--even if she did pour A1 sauce all over the lasagna I made 5 minutes later.

Monday, September 15, 2008

pls send applications to PO Box 666

The following is all true.

Gianna asked me the other day:

"Mum, why would a mommy want to give her baby away for adoption?"


I did exactly what you are NOT supposed to do and launched into a long soliloquy--starting with "Some mommies are not ready..." and somehow ending with me explaining the term "symbiotic".
We have friends at different stages of pregancy; from getting ultrasounds to just finishing the nursery. We also have a number of friends who are adopted--I can see where the question may have arisen, but that doesn't mean I had a great answer. I was really banking on my ability to talk so much and employ so may tangents that she would eventually give up and go watch tv.
Alas, she sat with rapt attention the entire time.

After I finished she looked at me sideways--clearly I had not given the answer she was looking for.

"So, Michael is too old now to be adopted?"

Ah. Yes he is.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

More Beach FUN! (with only a little bloodshed)

My favorite thing to do at the beach is nothing, followed by nothing and sometimes, later--I just relax and do nothing (if watching the kids and opening a continous stream of snack packs and capri suns for them counts as nothing).

Not everyone feels like that. Our friend Ken rarely sits still at the beach and regularly catches 30 pound stripers.

I should also mention, this is the same man that throws on flippers and chases the seals away. That's right after he jumps in his kayak to drop his fishing line miles out on the ocean. Its safe to say he's pretty darn intimidating* (and would be more so if he wasn't so good getting juiceboxes for the kids--but shhhh....we don't speak of that).
That's his hawttie of a wife.

In the face of that blur of activity--Bill brought his ocean-fishing pole (I'm sure there is a more technical term for it, fortunately not too many guys read this blog). We didn't catch too many fish--but we did manage to catch something else!

Picture this, all 5 kids in the truck (eating snacks and watching a movie), Tam looks out the window and notices a poor seagull with a lure stuck in his beak. At this point, we were just sort of hoping the kids didn't notice, one less life lesson to explain and all that. Just then, the seagull tried to fly away and we realized it wasn't any lure stuck in its beak, it was attached to Bill's fishing pole. This may be time for a cartoon...

So even though Ken may be the envy of pretty much all the guys on the beach--it was my beloved that ended up with a sweatshirt covered in seagull blood, go Bill! The kids really did think it was pretty impressive how he jumped right in there and grabbed that seagull (in case you are wondering, I did help--it's HUMAN germs I don't like, animal germs-not so bad). The seagull was (mostly) unharmed as well. So I guess it turned out ok.

If you don't count the therapy the kids are going to need.

*You can pretty much replace Ken's name in any of the Chuck Norris Facts....

such as: Ken doesn't frostbite, Ken bites frost; or There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Ken allows to live.